On rest, herbs, and being a little kinder to yourself after 40 — written from my kitchen table in Tuscany.
This is where I keep the actual research, not just the recap of it: real studies on perimenopause and sleep, on which skincare ingredients actually hold up under a clinical trial, on the psychology behind habits and happiness, and on rituals like the evening cup of tea that get talked about more than they get tested. I read the papers myself and say plainly where the evidence is strong and where it's still thin. If you've been searching for what the research actually says about any of this, for women over 40, this is where I keep it.
One trial on postmenopausal women found strength training improved sleep. Checked against 31 trials at once, the picture changes. Here's the honest version.
Two real studies tried to measure whether a hot flash itself causes the awakening. They found different things. Here's what each one actually measured, and where that leaves us.
A 2003 study of 192 people found gratitude journaling lifted well-being over nine weeks. Here's what later research says about whether that lift fades.
A 2023 meta-analysis of 26 clinical trials looked at oral collagen supplements and skin aging. Here's what it actually found, and where it doesn't hold up.
A look at the actual clinical trials behind ceramide and niacinamide, two inexpensive ingredients, and where the evidence is strong or still thin.
I promised a fuller breakdown of the price question. Two real studies explain why a higher price doesn't reliably mean a skincare product performs better.
What two 2025 meta-analyses and the long-running SWAN study actually found about memory and focus in perimenopause, and where self-report and test scores disagree.
I always assumed retinol was just a milder version of the prescription stuff. The actual gap between them, and the evidence behind each, turned out to be bigger than I thought.
A reader's letter about retelling an old fight differently, and what a 2005 psychology experiment on memory and self-distance actually found.
A friendlier, shorter look at what the expressive writing research actually says about journaling through a hard chapter, and where it's still thin.
I sat in a salon chair handing out advice that sounded wise and wasn't. Here's how I finally learned to tell hard-won wisdom from plain, ordinary exhaustion.
My friend wrote three things down on a receipt in case anyone asked at her own birthday dinner. Nobody did. Here's what I did with my own list afterward.
I kept a bottle of my favorite perfume in a drawer for six years, saving it for the right occasion. Here's the ordinary thing that occasion taught me.
A waiter waiting for my order, a folded napkin, and the first small thing I ever bothered to write down. Here's how a habit started without my noticing.
I always thought rest was something you had to earn by finishing everything on the list first. Here is the Italian phrase that talked me out of believing that.
You bought something small for yourself and had the excuse ready before anyone asked. Here's what changed how I think about spending on myself, guilt-free.
A trend called nonnamaxxing went viral, then someone started selling a program based on it. Here's why I've never claimed to be an expert, just a curious neighbour.
I found a list I wrote at thirty-four in a box I hadn't opened in over a year. Eighteen years later, here's what it taught me about believing it's too late.
A Tuscan siesta and a €12 chair whose only job is to sit in and do nothing taught me more about rest than any planner ever did.
Not because I look older. Because I've spent years being useful instead of known — and what a scarf at the Saturday market taught me about it.
You are not broken. You are not failing at rest. Here's what I learned about the tired that isn't about sleep at all.
I found four half-filled planners in one kitchen drawer. Here's what I learned about why nothing ever stuck, and the one thing that finally did.
I used to buy bath soaks after bad days and get out feeling exactly the same. Here's the small, unglamorous thing that actually reached what the bath never did.